Mission Impossible: RECOVERY

If you are in the middle of a crisis- great or small. There are a few things you need to do for yourself before you do anything drastic. Seriously, waiting a few moments , to as long as day, it makes a huge difference, and while you wait, do this:

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Eat
Sleep
Shower
Meditate

I know it sounds silly, “How can I eat at a time like this?” I thought that too. “You want me to sleep, I feel most alive when its night time?” Yup that too. “I don’t feel like showering, I don’t plan on going anywhere.” Uh-huh me too. “I’ve got too much going on in my head to meditate.” Exact-ta-mondo! I completely agree with those statements on an emotional level, nothing feels worth doing, not even the basic necessities of life.

But you are in a battle against yourself and the raging emotions and thoughts inside of you. A soldier does not go into war, hungry, tired, and stinky. (kay the stinky part I don’t know- but come on do you really want to be stinky). To fight your opponent you have to be at your prime.

Ever tried to concentrate on an empty stomach, it’s near impossible. Your tummy just won’t stop bugging you, but if your like me, ignoring your hunger becomes second nature to you. Unfortunately, your mind can ignore the hunger sensation but your body itself cannot ignore the effects of malnourishment, you become tire, irritable, and at best irrational.

There have been times when I was getting really moody and I recognized the pre-signs, I am able to focus on my stomach and determine if I was hungry. If I was, I would then eat a quick meal, definitely not for pleasure. After letting the food settle, I’d gauge how I felt, most of the time, what ever I felt subsided at least to a manageable level. It was easier to determine what I wanted out of a situation and how I was going to express it, just by feeding my body, I was able to focus on other issues.

Sleep, apart from breathing is important element in our lives. Unlike food or water, where you can go without them for a few days. Sleep deprivation, can be detrimental to your live. Studies have shown that grown men of good character and stature have been know to do uncharacteristic behaviors when sleep deprived. Our brain NEEDS to REST.

Getting a good night sleep is easier than you think. Chamomile tea and honey and warm milk are known sleep aides. Drink a good cup of tea or warm milk at least a half hour before bedtime. Ask your doctor if you can use Melatonin, which as is a over the counter herbal pill that will make you sleepy. Next, eliminate all distractions, turn off you tv or computer; cell phones, or pagers. Make your room relaxing: turn down the lights, light some candles, a little bit of soothing music helps too. Did you know that listening to classical music is equivalent to a very small amount of Valium? (Heard John Tesh say that on the radio) A good nights rest, helps the brain rejuvenate.

Taking a shower sounds silly, but think about how refreshed you felt after taking a shower. It’s about taking care of the whole you, inside and out. Taking a shower in the morning signifies a start of new day, preparing yourself to take on that day. Rinsing off the dirt, literally makes you feel just a little better.
Meditation doesn’t mean prayer, but taking time to reflect and reset your thoughts and behaviors. When I meditate, I remind myself what my goals, beliefs, values are. It’s about slowing down to remember the uniqueness about you- not the you that inter-acts with the world, but the beautiful core within you. If you try to take on the world, without knowing who you are, you will be swallowed up. It’s not an easy world we live in, the potential to be chewed up alive and spit out is great.

I’ve read blog after blog on people with BPD who are caught in a whirl wind of madness, confusion, and hurt, it’s so paralyzing that they no longer feel the urgency of taking care of themselves. They get lost in their worthlessness that they don’t want to work at changing themselves (intention is different than actually doing it), yet they don’t understand why they hurt or why others frown upon them. Yet, those people who have helped them once passionately eventually were drained and left. Then the BPD, freaks out, all of a sudden they don’t know what they did to repel the people they love away. I know I was one of them.

It was when I realized how much of my life I let go of, that I finally saw how much pain I really was in. My passiveness to BPD, let me aggressively acting out. There’s got to be a better way than this. I had to stop justifying my behaviors, and accept them for what they were doing to the quality of my life.
The first step to recovery is taking the reigns to your life, like taking care of yourself. Not expecting others to do it for you. (It sounds harsh, but it’s true) You’ve got to take responsibility for how you feel, think, and act. And that is hard to do when you are physically and emotionally fit, imagine how much harder it is when you aren’t.

RECOVERY IS A POSSIBILITY

But you’ve got to be able to challenge every thought, feeling and action. And be willing to change what is unhealthy-- even when it hurts to much to let them go. We’ve got to realize that these unhealthy patterns have become security blankets we hold on to. And embrace a new you- it’s scary, I know, but is better than how BPD has taken hold our hearts, minds and lives.